Refocusing on Ourselves with Megan Maley
As we approach the holiday season and the new year, we tend to reflect on the past year, what we’ve accomplished, what goals we’ve achieved, how we’ve grown, etc. Reflecting on the past year reveals it was filled with unexpected changes.
January started like any other, with travel, spending time with family, and lots of coffee. When February rolled around, my partner announced he was moving to California. After much contemplation and discussion,I decided to move as well. By April,quitting my job, selling most possessions,saying goodbye to family and friends, and making the cross-country drive to LA (with my cat) had become reality. By May, the relationship with my partner ended.
Returning to New York (still jobless and without an apartment) left a feeling of being completely lost. My mental and physical health had deteriorated, and looking in the mirror revealed a stranger staring back. Desperation to regain control of life emerged.
Moving in with family created an opportunity to reconnect with who I once was and what I truly wanted. Time was taken to explore passions and embrace the concept of rest. Slowly, day by day, I began to find my footing. Teaching yoga again, starting to write, and launching a consulting business in August—a dream never once thought possible—became milestones. This journey unveiled just how much could be achieved when the same love and energy given to others was directed inward.
As someone who has chronically focused on others and had often neglected my own dreams, needs, and desires, I understand how challenging it can be to put yourself first. At the end of the day, we have only one life to live. You cannot show up as the best version of yourself for those around you if you haven’t properly cared for yourself. Let this New Year be the year of You.
It is so easy for us to lose ourselves. We pour energy into the ones we love, but in doing so, we often neglect ourselves. As we move into the New Year, I encourage you to take time to focus on yourself. No, it’s not selfish. It’s self-care. What are your needs, your dreams, your goals, and how can you address them every day? You may ask, “Where do I start?” Here are five tried-and-true, actionable steps to help support a healthier, more self-focused you.
Set Boundaries
The holidays are the perfect time to enforce your boundaries. Evaluate what brings you joy and what you do out of obligation. Be direct with loved ones about holiday expectations. Think of boundaries as tools to address your needs and prevent future conflict.
Move Your Body
Movement is essential. Physical activity improves circulation, metabolism, and oxygenation. Research shows that those who move more have fewer blood clots, better digestion, less cartilage deterioration, and even better skin! Just 10 minutes of walking daily can add two years to your life expectancy. Try a walking pad at your desk or wake up earlier to hit the gym. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do something!
Take One Actionable Step Every Day
Some days, reaching our goals can feel impossible. One way to combat this is by breaking goals into micro-steps. Set your overall goal and list the necessary steps to achieve it. Tackle one micro-step every day, like sending an email or reading for 10 minutes. Each micro-step will build over time, getting you closer to your big goal and allowing you to feel accomplished daily.
Live in the Present Moment
While reflecting on the past and planning for the future is helpful, true happiness comes from focusing on the present. In The Power of Now, author Eckhart Tolle discusses how suffering often stems from being trapped in the past or worrying about the future. Keeping ourselves in the present reduces much of our suffering. Slow down your day and notice automated tasks, like driving home or brewing coffee. Fill each action with intention and meaning. When your mind drifts, gently bring it back to the present. The more you focus on now, the less you’ll worry about things outside your control.
Create a Healthy Routine
Healthy routines are crucial for overall well-being. Research shows they can reduce stress, improve sleep, and boost happiness. As someone with chronic illness, I know how important they are. Start your day with fresh air and sunlight, get essential vitamins and minerals, move your body, sip coffee, and spend time phone-free before starting your day.
The best part about building healthy habits is that once you start with one, it becomes easier to add more. A friend recently add- ed morning walks before work and found she was more likely to go to the gym afterward. Healthy habits build on each other, so start with one small change and see where it takes you!
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